Q&A: The Well-Mannered Wedding
Published: March 31, 2011
What is the proper etiquette for declining a request to serve as a bridesmaid in the wedding of a friend? Or, as some have told me, is saying no never an option?
Anonymous,
Fox Chapel, Pa.
"Being asked to be a bridesmaid is an honor indeed and, while it is not a command performance, it should be given serious consideration. But sometimes it’s necessary (and O.K.) to decline the honor. Valid reasons for saying “No, thank you” include finances, scheduling conflicts and health issues. Some examples: your budget truly will not allow you to be an attendant, you have already accepted an invitation to attend someone else’s wedding (maybe even as an attendant), or you have a longstanding work or family commitment. A chronic illness might prevent you from committing to bridesmaid’s duties before or on the wedding day, as might caregiver responsibilities for a family member who is ill. Pregnancy is another practical reason for saying no; while there is no reason not to ask a friend who is expecting, the mother-to-be may just not be comfortable with the role.
When there is a compelling reason to decline the invitation, tell your friend honestly, graciously and compassionately, and soon after she has asked you. A polite “no” could go something like this: “Susan, I’m so honored that you have asked me! I’ve thought about this so much, but I cannot be your bridesmaid. I simply could not afford all of the wedding expenses in addition to paying my college tuition and rent. Please know that I wish I could say yes and that our friendship means the world to me.” - New York Times
to read the actual article in the New York Times : Click Here
Congrats on being published :)
Anonymous,
Fox Chapel, Pa.
"Being asked to be a bridesmaid is an honor indeed and, while it is not a command performance, it should be given serious consideration. But sometimes it’s necessary (and O.K.) to decline the honor. Valid reasons for saying “No, thank you” include finances, scheduling conflicts and health issues. Some examples: your budget truly will not allow you to be an attendant, you have already accepted an invitation to attend someone else’s wedding (maybe even as an attendant), or you have a longstanding work or family commitment. A chronic illness might prevent you from committing to bridesmaid’s duties before or on the wedding day, as might caregiver responsibilities for a family member who is ill. Pregnancy is another practical reason for saying no; while there is no reason not to ask a friend who is expecting, the mother-to-be may just not be comfortable with the role.
When there is a compelling reason to decline the invitation, tell your friend honestly, graciously and compassionately, and soon after she has asked you. A polite “no” could go something like this: “Susan, I’m so honored that you have asked me! I’ve thought about this so much, but I cannot be your bridesmaid. I simply could not afford all of the wedding expenses in addition to paying my college tuition and rent. Please know that I wish I could say yes and that our friendship means the world to me.” - New York Times
to read the actual article in the New York Times : Click Here
Congrats on being published :)
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